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Saturday, February 22, 2014

December/ pre-Christmas catch up

Lets get in our proverbial time machine shall we? 

Loopy just ordered this on a t-shirt!

Project failed

Loopy is trying to teach Logan to play guitar. This will either go really well for them or REALLY poorly. They don't have much patience for each other most of the time. Stay tuned.
*after 3 months Logan has officially learn 1 (ONE) cord. 

Kendal-isms

Kendal: Mom, will you help me make the Tower or Terror ride? Its really hard! That ride makes me a little nervous.

We were at Target and Kendal was shopping in the dollar section. She found a teeny tiny little ray gun and said "Clowny told me to get one like this!" We laughed it off.. Slightly creeped out that her scary Halloween decor is requesting she purchases weapons. Later that night Logan was upstairs and thought it would be funny to kick clowny. Kendal said in a scary little voice "Use your gun, Clowny, the GUN" Its maybe starting to get a *little* weird.

Kendal is crying because she wants to play with Clowny but Pippi is hanging out with him.
Logan was SHOCKED
*Note the gun in Clowny's pumpkin





Kendal's Pre-K school picture



What the Fuck, rubber duck? =What is the function of a rubber duck?



Kendal: Grampa has found his most perfect best friend.
Me: Who?
Kendal: Gramma!




Pre-K Christmas programs. Why do parents lose all dignity and courtesy when it comes to video and pictures of their 4yr old kids picking noses, half singing, sometimes doing hand motions, and jumping up and down? They will shove, get RIGHT in front of you and hold up an IPAD to capture it all. Anyway, Here is our attempt to get pictures of Kendal's preschool Christmas program.











When its all said and done she was SO proud of herself (even if she picked her nose the whole time)


Kendal and her Teachers
Ms. Amanda and Ms. Colleen


All things Wizardry

Kendal: I would like to go Karate too. I like to take Defense Against the Dark Arts (we are still suck on Harry Potter this week. 

I am pretty sure that when Logan write his vocab sentences it is being engraved somewhere on his body.. or at least he screams the whole time like that might be the case.

Kendal was watching Prisoner of Azkaban and got a little scared of the dementors. Until Loopy told her it was Clowny's brother. She's good now. 

The adventures of having a Logan

2 weeks ago the guidance office called to say Logan punched a girl at school. Today they called to tell me.... wait for it.... he is being tested next week for the gifted program. Way to keep me on my toes parenthood.  I hate that she waited until the end of the call to tell me why I had to come in for a conference and what we were going to discuss and sign for.

Fun fact: Logan's bus driver's last name is "Clowney" and she is "scary and mean"

This picture makes me laugh.
Looks like Michael knocked that kid out!




Logan got his yellow belt at karate. Celebrated with fro yo and pizza (in that order)








This wasn't from belt test, but the kids kicked stuff 300 times and made a pyramid
Michael would like you know to he did NOT get this from a book
Logan got grounded for being a disrespectful ass to a grown-up. I am trying to teach him that sometimes when a grown up says "because I said so" that is acceptable and you have to listen because YOU aren't a grown up. I told him he could go play outside at his friends house. Logan wanted to go into Zane's house to get a toy, Sarah (Z's mom) told him "no, cause I said so". And Logan lost his shit and wouldn't leave. She texted me, I had to go get him, he screamed all the way home. you get the idea. 

After being sent to his room while me and Loopy decided the best way to handle this (he has never been that disrespectful to a grown up before) I went up to talk to him and found THIS------>

He slid it under the door like a starving captive. It had only been 5 minutes.

He was screaming unintelligibly every time I tried to talk to him so I wrote him a note about why what he did was wrong and let him know he was grounded from electronics/ TV/ Wii/ computer until we leave for Christmas Break. He was also required to write an apology letter to Ms. Sarah.. which he did... but the last sentence was "But why can't I come inside!?" He had to rewrite it.

While he was at Karate one day I went next door to Walgreens to get some coffee and Santa showed up. Immediately after karate I told Logan I am taking him to see Santa because The Big Man wasn't very happy about him getting in so much trouble this close to Christmas! He didn't believe me. And he was SO nervous.

Here he is trying to talk Santa into showing up on Christmas. He was listing off the reasons he thinks he should still get presents even though he is grounded. 

Parenting  Win.



Logan was having loose tooth drama all day. Thank God it came out before bed so he didn't eat this one. Pretty sure he's not going to be an ER Dr. after all, he can't handle even a drop of blood.

Logan's Joke of the Day: Why can't you play hide and seek with a mountain? Because they peak.

A day in the life (well, 2 weeks...)

It is 11pm. Why are my children in the kitchen right now? Because they are all thirsty like camels and it is URGENT.

It is 12:30am. I think a kid just fell out of bed. Sounded like it came from a top bunk. OUCH! 





How I imagined it would be waking up with my kids on Saturday mornings...



 







How it really is waking up with my kids on Saturday mornings. 












My freezer keeps defrosting itself. Meanwhile the fridge is freezing everything. This is coffee. For lunch we had frozen hummus and chip dip.










For my friends going through optometry school, please don't make your patients eyeballs look like this and then send them to pick out glasses. This has been my pet peeve since my first glasses mishap in 1st grade. Today I refused to purchase new frames because everything is bright and fuzzy. Also if you plan to dilate remind people to bring sunglasses. This has been a public service announcement.




My friend Stephanie had a baby and he is the most cuddly baby on the planet. Here she is realizing she really didn't want a beer after all, but was determined to finish it while Sarah is in snuggle baby heaven.
















I love it when they love each other! 












This was supposed to be a horsey ride.. Dad is the horse, Logan is the saddle, Kendal is the rider. 







Me and Loopy were both in desperate need of a haircut. So Sarah came over for a house call. 

Might be the last time I see this looong hair
<-----

There it is.
------->










She did an amazing job! 

Preparing for a trip to the frozen tundra:

Trying on winter clothes







 Kendal said she's ready to build a snowman with grampa right now! Too bad its 75 today.









Its been a while since we've worn these clothes. We need to do some shopping. 



















We started the packing process then went shopping for a suitcase cause we realized we don't own one.





I stared receiving scathing messages from friends in the north...









Because I posted things like this on facebook....









And because apparently it is warm enough to wear nothing but a cardboard box in December in Florida 











Do you think my parents are excited to have all the kids home for Christmas!? There is a tree under there somewhere. Hopefully there is some warm clothes in those boxes!









Right before it was time to leave for our road trip I came down with a sore throat, cough, and migraine from hell that laid me out for 3 days. Anyone who knows me understands that I don't stop for such minor ailments but I was nauseous and miserable. Packing, sorting, and cleaning all stopped while I went to bed and couldn't move. I tried to tell Loopy I'd just go see Dr. Hannibal when I got to town, but Loopy would have nothing of it and made me an appt with the local guy.
To clarify, my pediatrician from MI looks like Dr. Hannibal.  

<---Dr. Hines the pediatrician


Dr. Hannibal the Cannibal 
------->




The whole ordeal only set us back a day and we shortened the road trip by one night at the water park hotel. More on that and all the other stuff that happened over Christmas Vacation in the next post.. Hopefully it won't take a month.. but we all know better than that, don't we?

Yup, I am totally leaving you with a visual of my pediatrician  and his doppelganger, Hannibal Lecter.

(if you are reading this, HI DR HINES!! I'll find pictures of us doing Jello shots together and post those next time instead.)

Monday, January 20, 2014

November, the other stuff

Kidisms of the month! 

Kendal: Dad, when you are finished working will you play with me? 
Dad: Sure Kendal. Soon, ok? 
Kendal: Maybe two times?

Logan: I just can't wait until that big math test tomorrow!
Me: Why? 
Logan: I am ready to get an A. Cause I'm really smart.


Logan: When you give me a hug and kiss every night at bedtime my heart grows THIS big (makes big heart with his arms)
Me: Wow, that's pretty big! 
Logan: It crushes my lungs a little bit and makes it hard to breathe, but its not so bad.
Me: Oh, bummer. You want me to stop doing that? I don't know if I can.
Logan: No, its not so bad when you take my breath away. 
EGADS I LOVE THIS KID!!



Who ya gonna call?! My kids have been dressing up as Ghostbusters for a couple weeks. Kendal is Venkman, you know, the snarky one who hits on everyone. I had to make little signs to tape to their shirts. Backpacks are proton packs. Hooray for creativity. 









Kendal brought me a box of yogurt covered raisins and said she likes them so much she's going to eat them TWICE! I didn't ask for details.

Kendal just told me to do my laundry. RIGHT NOW so she can help. Because Ghost Busters help people and there are no ghosts right now. Meanwhile, Logan is upstairs crying because Kendal told him they have to take turns being leader and he wants to be leader ALL the time.

Kids bickering upstairs....
Me: HEY, Knock it off
Logan: We aren't arguing! I'm just trying to get her to agree!

Waiting patiently for Kendal to pick up her Legos one at a time is painful. She wants to discuss each piece and what set it came from... and details about the day she got that set... zzzzzzz





Logan coming out of the bathroom: Whoa. SOMEbody's been eating asparagus.




Logan: Don't look at me like that. I'm just enjoying life by dancing my head off.






Logan seems happy today. I made him a scavenger hunt for when he got home. He loves that stuff. It ended with going to get his friend and playing soccer in the back yard. Kendal is happy cause Chandler is here "Chandler! You're here. I LOVE YOU CHANDLER!!"

How is my 4yr old girl more emotionally stable than my 7yr old boy?

I was talking to Logan about his temper problem after a 2 hour freak out this evening. (he got in trouble several times this week, one incident involved a call from the school) The conversation went like this. 
Me: You need to watch your temper. Do you know what a temper is? 
Logan: No. I don't even know what you are TALKING ABOUT!!!
Me grabbing his dictionary: Lets look it up, so we know we are using the right word and what it means.
Logan: I WISH YOU'D JUST THROW THAT STUPID THING AWAY!!! I HATE THAT BOOK
Me: Temper; losing a feeling of calm.
Logan: I *AM*CALM!!!
~after some more talking and settling down again~
Logan: I just want you to do more fun stuff with me. You NEVER SPEND TIME WITH ME!!!
Me: I would love to spend time with you but you are constantly losing your temper before we even start playing when it doesn't happen fast enough or in the way you'd like. That isn't fun. But we can try harder to get along. 
Logan: You lose your temper too. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SMACK ME ON THE HEAD?!! (Yeah, I do that sometimes when he keeps screaming "NO" in my face) 
Me: Because when you are losing your shmidt its the only thing that gets your attention. We've tried everything else. Do you have another suggestion?
Logan: JUST LET ME HAVE MY WAY ALL THE TIME!!!
Me: no.
Logan: BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......
After much discussion and story time we agreed to use a safe phrase. When of us is losing it the other says "Water on Fire" (he thought of it) If that doesn't work I get to splash him with water.. or vise versa. 
Stay tuned for more on how THAT plan works. for now I need a glass of wine.

While I was gone for the day Loopy and Kendal wrote a book. 





"THE MARKER THAT DRIED OUT" 
Dictated by Kendal, illustrated by Dad.











"this is Mr. Marker. Those are the butterflies. I used a stamp."






"My dad has a flashlight and we are going in the cave to get the tops of the markers. Because there are SOMEWHERE in there. Its dark"









"We just found the top! We were drawing outside. But we left two tops off and then they were blown into the cave where we can't find them"




































Logan: I really need to get a new nickname.
Dad: um.. you have a nickname?
Logan: Yeah, Logie. Remember that's what Aunt Kris calls me sometimes.
Dad: ok, what would your nickname be?
Logan: Nate.

AND NOW FOR THIS REALLY BIG VOID IN BLOG SPACE THAT WON'T GO AWAY FOR NO APPARENT REASON.... Seems to be an editing glitch. Sometimes it's easier just to ignore it. 





Logan asked why my legs were wibbly wobbly after the gym today. Watching the kids do 25 lunges .. my thighs and butt feel for them.






Kids asked Loopy to take good care of their stuffed friends today. He had a meeting at work and left Clowny in charge. Introducing Clowny's Kiddie Care!







Kendal-ism: Bugles = finger chips. because she puts them on her fingers before eating them.




Disclaimer, NOT MY COCONUTS!!




Kendalism: Boobs = coconuts

Got Kendal out of the bath, wrapped in a towel and stood her on the little stool to comb her hair. Towel fell and she looked in mirror: Wait a minute! I have those coconuts. They are really little. I've got some good coconuts!






Logan: This kid on the playground was pretending to shoot us.
Me: Like making a gun with his hand and going PEW PEWPEW?
Logan: Yeah, sorta...
Me: So? We used to play things like cops and robbers all the time. I'm pretty sure that's just part of playing.
Logan with in incredulous look: Mom, its WAY more serious than "cops and robbers" we play MILITARY!! And go POWPoWPOWPOWPOW with bigger guns. But Mrs. Pace said we aren't allowed to and he does it anywaaaaay. WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!?!?!
Me: If he's not hurting you, aiming an object at you, or really threatening to hurt you, don't worry about it.
Logan stomping away: (unintelligible whiny noise)


Kendal: Mom, you can go ahead and take a nap.
Me: ok, awesome




Kendal, 5 min later: oh, sorry! Did I wake you up? (Maniacal laughter)






I thought it would be nice to go get Logan from the bus stop so we can walk home together and talk about our day. He saw me and took off running the other direction around the block. Nice peaceful walk home by myself. I got dressed for this?

Kendal to Logan when she didn't want to do something his way: I don't talk in English.






I'm playing a game with Kendal (House rules)




Logan and Chandler are playing soccer... wtf is my kid wearing you ask?


Plaid shorts, tie dye shirt, and camo hoodie tied around his waist with the hood up. Chandler is wearing a stylish Ed hardy shirt and khaki shorts. We might be the weird family.

Chandler: my mom is allergic to nuts.
Logan: what? Like privates?! Oooh, wait, you mean peanuts. 
Lol. That would be most unfortunate.









Kendal and her dinos watching land before time. "They are hugging."









Found this on the back of one of Logan's science tests..








Thank you, Grandpa, for teaching my children the Pants on the Ground song. They have been singing it for a week now. This usually happens when Kendal needs help after using the bathroom which happens often.
She also taught it to her school friends!






Kendal thinks she's Harry Potter. She keeps running into walls looking for platform 9 3/4. If you see a crazy child at a Sunrail station next spring running into stuff that's my girl.





I can appreciate the idea behind these record-able books. Grandparents or far away friends record their voice reading the story as the pages turn ect. The problem is that
1. I wasn't expecting to hear that voice in my house from a closet.
2. The book was closed, it is now possessed.
3. We have determined the book to be a horocrux that can only be destroyed by the fang of a basilisk.
4. Where do we find a basilisk? Kendal is now speaking parseltounge.






Impromptu family game night. Bed time is just a guideline some days













SUCH HAPPY FACES!!








This is Kendal's car. She picked those extra guys up in college then had 2 kids and adopted a boy and girl after getting married. Her goal was to make it to that building which she calls the disco. She skipped a turn to unload her car and dance for a while.



Thought Logan's backpack smelled funny last night, looked in, didn't see anything. This morning it smelled like spoiled milk or something but he doesn't eat much dairy and doesn't drink milk. Just got home to investigate and he had put his pudding in the front pocket after the HALLOWEEN party at school. Whatever was growing finally broke the barrier and it smells so freakin gross. hosed it down outside and washing it with a double dose of smelly washer stuff. Spoiled milk is the one thing that makes me want to vomit. BLECH!!!! Now I have to lysol my house.

Kendal has been jabbering away while I do laundry. I looked up and saw this beautiful face looking back at me.. I haven't brushed her hair in 3 days and it still falls perfectly in place. Man I make good looking kids.









Snuggles with my boy

















Kendall P's bday party with Kendal. She was sooo freaking happy to hang out with school friend 






Listening to Logan hit on the chick at Hair Cuttery. He's giving the one guy that works here an education on why his karate is better than this guys Taekwondo. They are arguing their points in a surprisingly respectful and educated manner. Every once a while he winks and gives the hair girl a 'how you doin' look in the mirror.

Kendal just about gave me a heart attack. She was jabbering away upstairs with her hands on the banister and swung her skinny little ass through the bars like a gymnast and back onto the loft. *deep breath* dang kids.

Logan playing SimCity: Look, I made Big Ben
Kendal: ooh, I like him. you mean Carol Ann's kid? I LOVE THAT GUY!!




Thanksgiving is Christmas! YEAH! 
Bwahaha! Omg I love her.









Thanksgiving cooking is underway! My assistant is an astronaut and stylish Harry Potter is casting spells all morning.




This year's turkey is named Wroblewski Junior. Not as creative as "Jesus" or "Butter" like past years. But its tradition.







Logan bought and finished the new Diary of a Wimpy kid book this evening.. This kid can seriously tear through books.















My little tom boy working on her chore chart. She LOVES chores, Ghotstbusters, and Jimi Hendrix








Putt Putt golfing with kids is a special kind of sport. 












You've seen this meme about not decorating palm trees.













We have a forest of them in Lake Mary!






Christmas makes kids rowdy!








Kendal found an owl and was convinced it was Hedwig under a spell of some sort.

Forcing this family into the Christmas spirit (Well, the boys anyway) And headed out to get a tree. HoHoHo!






Christmas spirit phase one complete. Kendal is already wearing her Santa hat, putting presents in stockings.












Pippi is back!
The next day she didn't move.
Maybe she was tied in too tight or something...





Mom-servations



I can only have one level of my house clean at a time. Earlier in the week I cleaned upstairs. Today I busted my ass on the bottom floor all day. Went up stairs and the loft, bathroom, and bedrooms are destroyed again. Sigh.





Confession: Sometimes when I make brownies I eat the batter while I wait for the oven to heat up. Today I am thankful for brownie mix. MMMmmm






Something to consider.






Busy day. I was going to tell Loopy about my day while we ate dinner but now he is home all the time and recited it to me instead.



Picking up Kendal from school in my pajamas. Know why that's ok? BECAUSE YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO GET OUT OF THE CAR IN PICK UP LINE. not to chat with other parents, teachers, assistants, or to make sure your kid has water and a snack on the way home. Pull forward and park it. There are 20 cars behind you patiently waiting for you to get in and leave. /rant





Sign you are a mom #564: You go to take a bubble bath and the only stuff you have has a picture of spider man on the bottle and you think.. why not? I'll be enjoying my spiderman bubble bath if you need me. 

Living the good life.







So my dad burned my brother's car today..

RIP Mustang











Sometimes autocorrect wins and you just roll with it.












I was planning to head to the gym at 11:30 but I am going to have a nap instead. Gym later. Coffee Fail.









I turn to posters and memes for motivation. No, I really don't. I hate motivational posters, books, and cheesy pictures













or "I'm going to the bathroom" or "I have to get something out of the car" or "I'm getting your juice from the fridge" or "I'm ON THIS SIDE OF THE COUCH"








And that wraps up November!

Still in the works...

December, Christmas (likely in its own post) and January. Moving right along!!